Dare to Dance Again: Dancing With Doubts
Luke 24:36b-48, I John 3:1-2
April 18, 2021
Emmanuel Baptist Church; Rev. Kathy Donley
Image: Ramallah Contemporary Dance Festival 2017, photo by Ahmad Odeh at unsplash.com
Note: A recording of the worship service in which this sermon was preached may be found here: https://youtu.be/SZie_p2R3EE
I have not been watching the Derek Chauvin trial in Minnesota this week. I am aware that it is happening, as I expect you are. Every once in a while, one nugget of information, one piece of testimony, has made it into my news feed, and that has been enough for me. The trial is extremely important, but I have avoided hearing the details. I have avoided re-living the last 10 excruciating minutes of George Floyd’s life, precisely because they were excruciating.
One thing that did make it into my awareness was the testimony of the pulmonary expert who said that George Floyd attempted to breathe through his fingers and his knuckles. Well, more precisely that he tried to use them to lift his body and expand his chest to get more air. He died from lack of oxygen. You probably know that that is the final cause of death in crucifixion. It is a brutal, exhausting way to die. The end finally comes when the person being crucified can no longer lift their chest to get air.
During Holy Week, several theologians discussed the seven last words of George Floyd.[1] His final utterances offer many parallels with the final words of Jesus. Which is not to suggest that Floyd is some kind of savior, but to note the profound similarities of lynchings by the state across time.
I have mostly avoided knowing these things. I have intentionally avoided knowing them as an act of self-protection.
Jesus’ disciples did not have that luxury. They had been drawn into the horrors of the crucifixion. In that place called Golgatha, they could not look away as surely as the bystanders on 38th Street and Chicago Avenue in Minneapolis could not look away from what played out before them.
If you think I’m repeating myself, if you think I might have mentioned something about the trauma of the disciples last week or the week before, you are correct. The lectionary readings this season ricochet from one gospel to the next. We read from Mark and then John and now Luke all wrestling with the same events.
Ched Myers is an activist theologian. He wrote a brilliant commentary on Mark’s gospel thirty years ago, which I read in seminary. It is still my go-to commentary on Mark. He lives a life of radical discipleship and teaches others to do the same. This sermon is largely inspired by his thoughts on the Lukan passage.[2]
Myers says that after Resurrection, the disciples have to reckon with Jesus’ mutilated body. He calls it “the traumatic somatic.” The traumatic somatic. All of the events of Good Friday culminating in Jesus’ execution were traumatic. They were also somatic, meaning that they involved a body, that flesh and blood suffered great pain And then, every time Jesus appears after his resurrection, the traumatic somatic repeats. The sight of his body reminds them of the trauma of crucifixion.
Last week, we remembered the story of Thomas who needed to see Jesus’ wounds for himself. In this week’s passage, the disciples are afraid at first that Jesus is a ghost. Jesus points out that unlike ghosts, he has hands and feet. And then, the person that they have shared countless meals with says, “do you have anything to eat?” I like to imagine Jesus saying that with a joking tone, trying to break the tension with humor, “Hey friends, I haven’t eaten since Thursday night, remember. Can you help a guy out?” Then he eats a piece of fish, further evidence that he is not a ghost.
When Jesus first appears, the disciples are afraid. In the New RSV, verse 37 says they were startled and terrified. Myers translates it “terrified and awestruck”. His translation work is revealing. The first adjective “terrified” is only used one other time in the New Testament. Luke 21:9 says “when you hear of wars and upheavals, do not be terrified; these things are inevitable.” The intention of Roman crucifixion was terrorism – to terrify its subjects into submission. Luke is saying that violence is inevitable under empire, especially for those who speak truth against it.
The second kind of fear displayed by the disciples is the kind of awe that comes from being in the presence of God. So they are terrified and awestruck. They are caught between the fear of Roman terrorism which they can plainly see in the scars left on Jesus’ body and the dawning awareness that they are in the presence of One who has been raised from the dead.
Myers says, “On the one hand, they cower before the handiwork of imperial terrorism, imprinted on the body of Jesus. On the other hand, they reel before the prospect that somehow Rome has not had the last word, that the divine conspiracy for life has burst the straightjacket of imperial death-dealing. Jesus, the executed rebel, is back and ready to continue organizing the movement.”
Then verse 41 says, “in their joy they were disbelieving and still wondering . . .” Joy, wonder, doubt. Such a rush of conflicting emotions. Wanting so much to believe, amazed, hopeful, joyful and yet still unsure, doubting.
Madeleine L’Engle was a much loved Christian author and speaker. Her best known book was probably A Wrinkle in Time. One time someone asked her if she really and truly believed in God with no doubts at all. Her answer was “I really and truly believe in God with all kinds of doubts.”[3]
Perhaps that captures the situation for the early disciples and also for us – we can believe with all our doubts.
How does that happen? For the disciples who are still struggling, it says Jesus opens their minds. That word “open” is used more than once in this chapter. He opens their minds to understand how the scriptures applied to his suffering and death and resurrection. He invites them to a new understanding, in spite of, or perhaps because of, the trauma they have endured. He invites them to open minds, softened hearts and expanding imaginations. When you have never encountered Resurrection before, or any time we are unsure of our next steps, cultivating an open mind is a good place to start.
But before he opens the scriptures, Jesus calls attention to his hands and feet. He asks for food. The resurrected body is centered. The disciples are invited to see and touch the flesh violated by empire and to attend to its bodily needs. This brings Ched Myers to a conclusion that I find compelling. He says, “This, I would argue is the central invitation of resurrection faith; to embrace the traumatic somatic; . . .to embrace the beat-up bodies of marginalized people and degraded places around our earth. . . to join the resurrection as insurrection. . . .[because] Our world is still riddled with terrorism both official and ad hoc.”
Beyond the trial in Minnesota last week, we could list multiple mass shootings, the ongoing military actions against civilians in Myanmar. We could lift up institutional racism, poverty and white supremacy as pillars of contemporary terrorism. The list goes on and on, because our world is indeed still riddled with terrorism.
Like the disciples, perhaps we too are caught between terror and awe, between an all too real awareness of physical fears and a spiritual knowledge of the presence of God. To which one will we give our allegiance—to the power of violence and death over life that fills our news feeds? Or to the biblical God’s power of irrepressible life over death?
This is the question of Easter, the question of resurrection. Which is greater in our lives – the power of death or the power of life? That is the question -- if we are afraid, if we struggle, if we have been traumatized or are grieving, the question to all of us who long to live as God’s Easter people in a still broken and terrified world.
Beloved ones, We are children of God, what we will become has not been revealed. Let us cultivate open minds, tender hearts and expansive imaginations. With every single one of our doubts, let us deeply and truly believe in God’s irrepressible power of life. Amen.
[1]Here is one good example: https://atlantadailyworld.com/2021/04/11/commentary-the-seven-last-words-of-george-floyd/
[2] Ched Myers “Jesus’ risen mutilated body” The Christian Century, September 3, 2019 https://www.christiancentury.org/article/critical-essay/jesus-risen-mutilated-body
[3] Madeleine L’Engle, A Circle of Quiet (New York: HarperCollins, 1972), p. 63