To Tell the Truth
Ephesians 4:1-3, 11-15
August 1, 2021
Emmanuel Baptist Church/FOCUS Summer Joint Worship; Rev. Kathy Donley
Note: A recording of the worship service in which this sermon was preached may be found here: https://www.youtube.com/Kftj25zcXhg
Perhaps this week, you watched, as I did, four Capitol Police officers testify about the insurrection they survived on January 6. Probably you heard, along with millions of others, Simone Biles’ announcement that she was withdrawing from the women’s team competition at the Olympics. Harry Dunn, Aquilino Gonell, Michael Fanone, Daniel Hodge and Simone Biles spoke truth in powerful and costly ways.
Jesus once said, “you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.” Truth has been elusive lately. Intentional misinformation and deceitful scheming have undermined our confidence in government and the media and each other. Church leaders and coaches and others entrusted with the care of young people have conspired and covered up abuse and wrong-doing. As a result, people have been deeply wounded and traumatized. People have died because of the lies told around the election and the coronavirus. Lying and deception are dangerous. Truth is power. You will know the truth and the truth will make you free.
The letter to the Ephesians is ancient, but contemporary. Written to an early church, it speaks directly to our context.
“When we grow up,” it says, “we will be a community capable of living the truth.” [1]
Speaking the truth in love, we grow to maturity. Christ has given gifts to the church which are to equip us for ministry. The word equipping comes from a term for setting a bone. It can mean to set a bone, to reconcile, to restore. Telling the truth, in love, is a foundation for reconciliation, restoration and healing.
There is so much talk these days about polarization, about division. Division between and within political parties, within families, within the church. “We” can’t even talk with “them” anymore. Some are despairing that any kind of unity can be found. I confess that I have felt that way too. But, what if, we could harness the power of truth spoken in love? If we could simply commit ourselves to that one discipline, I believe that Christ would work through us for healing and reconciliation.
Some difficult conversations are necessary within FOCUS and within our congregations these days. The anti-racism task force is meeting now. The immigration task force will reconvene in September. Each of our congregations has to reconnect and reform itself as we continue to make our way through this pandemic. We have hard issues to confront and difficult decisions to make. We will do well to hold before us this instruction – speak the truth in love.
When we grow up, we will speak the truth, we will live the truth in love. Why is this so hard?
Why is the truth hard? The truth is hard because it can be threatening. Acknowledging the truth might mean admitting that we were wrong. Admitting our wrong might require us to change and change is hard.
The truth can be frightening. We might try to avoid the pain of hearing, for example, a particular medical diagnosis. But of course, we cannot hope to heal without a clear telling of what is wrong. There are many conversations about racism going on now. Some of them spend a lot of energy attempting to avoid pain, trying for a quick fix that would smooth everything over on the surface and let us move on. Unless we face the truth about our past, about the foundations of white supremacy in our culture and systems, we cannot move toward the reconciliation God desires for us.
The truth is hard because it can be threatening to others. They may reject our truth and therefore reject us. We may not be willing to take that risk.
I was taught “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” I learned to confuse being loving with being nice. Maybe you learned that as well. We sometimes act as though we think that the truth should not make anyone angry. We have to unlearn that. Being critical, discerning between right and wrong, inviting ourselves and others to grow and change – all of those behaviors can be deeply loving without feeling “nice.”
Telling the truth in love is hard. Sometimes it’s because the truth is hard and sometimes it’s because the love is hard. lovingly is hard. Sometimes we hide behind the guise of truth-telling to say unloving things. “No one else has the guts to tell you this, but I will.” Or “It’s for your own good,” we might say, when really it’s a sucker punch that we deliver for our own satisfaction.
If we tell the truth, others may accuse us of having a hidden agenda. And of course, that is something we need to check ourselves on. I remember being in conflict with a group of people once. I told one of the leaders of the opposition that I was simply telling the truth. She shot back “You’re telling your truth.” And I said, “It’s the only truth I can tell.”
We were both correct. Telling the truth in love happens best in community. That means that we practice speaking truth in love with humility and we practice listening to the truth that others speak with humility. We may reject the truths offered by a newcomer, thinking that they don’t know us well enough, and those who know us well may be reluctant to speak for fear of causing pain. And so we practice speaking with humility and love, and we practice listening with humility and love.
William Sloane Coffin was an incredible pastor and social leader of the last century. He was chaplain at Yale for many years. One time a freshman named Larry asked if he could give Bill Coffin some advice.
Bill said, “Go ahead.”
Larry said, “Well sir, when you say something that is both true and painful, say it softly. Say it in words to heal and not to hurt. Say it in love.”[2]
When we confuse being loving with being nice, we may hold back on speaking the truth. We may say nothing at all until we cannot hold it in anymore and it comes out loudly, like an explosion. Sometimes, by the time we get the courage to speak the truth, we may be angry. When anger fuels our courage, our words may not sound loving. As we commit ourselves to speaking up with truth, we learn to speak softly, to heal and not to hurt.
William Sloane Coffin was active in the civil rights movement. He marched for justice and spent time in jail. He spoke against the Vietnam War and worked for nuclear disarmament. Let me close with some words that he repeated in several different contexts across the decades.
This is the way he said them in 1981, when he was pastor of the Riverside Church in New York City. “We are ordained to unrest, in deceptive times, to reach for truth that seems to many like madness; in the darkness of the world’s hatred and prejudice to keep the small flame of love alight. For the world is now too dangerous for anything but truth, too small for anything but love.”[3]
The world is too dangerous for anything but truth, too small for anything but love. When we grow up, when we reach the measure of the full stature of Christ, we will be a community capable of living the truth in love. Thanks be to God.
[1] Allen Verhey and Joseph S. Harvard, Belief: A Theological Commentary on the Bible – Ephesians, (Louisville: Westminster/John Knox Press, 2011), p. 304
[2] William Sloane Coffin, Credo (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2004), p. 152
[3] William Sloane Coffin, Collected Sermons, Volume 1, “Ordained to Unrest” (Louisville: Westminster/JohnKnox Press, 2008), p. 404