The Tie that Binds: Forgiveness
Matthew 18:21-35, Ephesians 4:25-5:2
July 12, 2020
Emmanuel Baptist Church; Rev. Kathy Donley
A recording of the service in which this sermon was preached may be accessed here:
In his book, The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis paints a picture of hell as a huge, gray city. The inhabitants of this city live only on its outermost edges. There are rows and rows of empty houses in the middle. They are empty because everyone who used to live there quarreled with the neighbors, and then moved, and quarreled with the new neighbors and moved again. It is so large that it takes hundreds of years to travel from one end of the city to the other. All because its citizens can never resolve any differences and forgive each other. All they want to do is get as far away from each other as possible.
Our reading from the letter to the church at Ephesus describes a community that does not want to live on the outskirts of hell. Instead of quarreling and moving on, this community is encouraged to practice things like truth-telling, anger management, honest work, kindness and forgiveness. These are all important for healthy community life. They all require a certain level of intentionality. None of them is always easy, but I believe the hardest one on that list might be forgiveness, but forgiveness may also have the most power to bind us together.
Forgiveness is hard. We don’t always want to be forgiven. We don’t like that we did whatever we did that needs to be forgiven. And we don’t like having to admit we did it. Sometimes, we would rather pretend that it didn’t happen, or if it did, it really wasn’t that big a deal, or if it was that big of a deal, then all the more reason not to talk about it. Forgiveness is hard for the ones who need to ask for it.
Forgiveness is also hard for the ones in a position to grant it. Sometimes we are still hurt or angry when we’re asked to forgive. Sometimes we want revenge; we want the other person to suffer the same kind of injury we think they inflicted on us. Sometimes we want to hold on to the fact that we were right and they were wrong, and if we forgive, it will feel like we let them get away with something. Forgiveness is hard for the ones who need to give it.
After reading Ephesians, I started wondering about what Jesus said about forgiveness. What popped into my mind was that conversation he had with Peter. Jesus had been talking about how to resolve conflict in the church. Peter wanted to know how many times he was required to forgive. He thought that the right answer was 7 times. But Jesus said it was more like 77 times or maybe 70 x 7 which is 490 times, depending on how you translate the Greek.
And then, according to Matthew, to illustrate his point, Jesus told this parable.
“ . . . the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt.
This is a strange and difficult parable. It could be boiled down to this. The king is going to sell a man and his family and everything he has because the man owes a gazillion dollars which he is never going to be able to repay. But out of pity, the king releases him from the debt and forgives it. Then that man encounter someone else who owes him a hundred dollars and he refuses to forgive. Having just been forgiven a huge debt, he refuses to forgive a miniscule amount. The king hears about that, changes his mind and orders him to be tortured until he can pay the debt.
This parable is difficult because many traditional interpretations claim that the king stands for God. This is not how Jesus’ original audience would have heard it. This is an earthly king who wields violence, pressure and fear, which is not to be compared with God’s loving care. One scholar asserts that to make the king as an image of God would be blasphemy in Jewish tradition.[1]
Another issue is that Jesus has just told Peter to forgive, more than once, more than seven times. But the king in this story forgives just once and then undoes his forgiveness. That’s another clue that this king is not to be equated with God.
What if this story is not about forgiveness at all, but about a lack of forgiveness? What if this parable is about a system of power and domination that is the very antithesis of the gospel? From the beginning, we know that the king is very powerful. He can destroy the life of the high level slave and his whole family in an instant. Threatening to do so is part of wielding that power. When the king forgives the debt, it is just the flip side of the same power. It also demonstrates just who is in charge.
This is a culture where shame and honor mean everything. The high level slave who has been forgiven has lost face. He has been humiliated and he has to regain it, by re-asserting his authority over the next person he sees, a lower-level slave over whom he has power. He demands immediate repayment of a small debt, refusing to show mercy. This makes a mockery of the king, making it seem like the high level slave took advantage of him and got away with it. Now the king is the one who has to defend his honor and establish his authority, so he hands him over to the jailers.[2]
Maybe Jesus is describing a system that wasn’t really about forgiving another person. In that system, you would keep track of who committed each offense and who forgave and how many times, with the goal of maintaining your own position and status. Maybe the point of this parable is to demonstrate how very different it is when you forgive someone with no motives other than reconciliation and restoration of relationship. Maybe that is what Jesus means when he tells Peter and the others to forgive from the heart.
Maybe the point is that Jesus’ followers are to create communities of mutual care, kindness and heartfelt forgiveness, places where no one is vying for position because all are welcome and loved, communities which offer a profound alternative to the domination system maintained by earthly authorities.
You will no doubt remember Amy Cooper. She’s the woman in Central Park who called the police when a when Christian Cooper, (who is no relation) asked her to leash her dog. Instead of doing that, she called 911 and reported that a black man was threatening her life. She was attempting to wield the power that is racism. Christian, on the other hand, simply filmed their interaction without escalating it.
Amy has been charged with filing a false police report, which carries a maximum penalty of a year in prison. She was publicly shamed, her dog was taken from her and she lost her job. Christian thinks those consequences might be sufficient. He said, “ . . she’s already paid a steep price . . . that’s not enough of a deterrent to others? Bringing her more misery just seems like piling on. . . . if the DA feels the need to pursue charges, he can do that without me.” [3]
That story is just one specific incident of the racism in this country which needs to be addressed systemically. That complex conversation is beyond the scope of this sermon. What I’m noting is simply how Christian did was is encouraged in Ephesians 4 – Christian kept telling the truth to Amy, even when she didn’t want to listen. He was surely angry, but did not lash out in the moment and even now, is not taking the opportunity to pile on vengeance. It looks a lot like forgiveness to me.
Forgiveness is a tie that binds. Christian communities are sustained by people who are committed to a way of life as a forgiven and forgiving people. This is may be the most difficult and most important work we do. So let us be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another from the heart as God in Christ has forgiven us. Amen.
[1] Luise Schottroff, The Parables of Jesus, trans Linda M Maloney (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2006), p. 201
[2] Bruce J. Malina and Richard L. Rohrbaugh, Social-Science Commentary on the Synoptic Gospels (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1992), p. 96.
[3] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/07/nyregion/amy-cooper-central-park-false-report-charge.html